2021-02-27 E-Zine – It’s Friday!
[E-Zine/Articles/NSFW] (Nova Scotia Funny Workers!)
Recorded live before a one-rum slushie filled studio audience in Halifax, Nova Scotia Canada that just wants to know where the rest of the rum has gone…
[*] *** [It’s Friday!] E-Zine *** [] LENT MODE ACTIVATED!
NO MEAT TIL…. cue Beastie Boys…. BROOKLYN!!!!!!!
<@> What’s going down in DanteTV Land….. <@>
Feb 27th – Blue Jays Pre-Season Opener
Mar 14th – Spring Forward (Daylight Savings Begins)
Mar 17th – St. Patrick’s Day
Mar 20th – Ostara / Spring Equinox (0637h AM DanteTV Timezone)
Apr 01st – Baseball Opening Day (ALL 30 TEAMS)
Apr 02nd – Good Friday (businesses closed)
Apr 04th – Easter
Apr 05th – End of Academic Year!
Apr 16th – Examinations Over!
Apr 20th – 4/20 / ‘O Cannabis’ Day
May 04th – May The Fourth Be With You! / Cuatro De Mayo!
May 05th – Cinco De Mayo
May 24th – Victoria Day (Canada/businesses closed)
May 31st – Memorial Day (USA/businesses closed)
Jun 21st – Summer Solstice (0031h AM DanteTV Timezone)
Jul 1st – Canada Day!
Jul 4th – Fourth of July!
(!) The Markets (!)
CAD/USD – $0.79
CAD/GBP – $0.57
CAD/JPY – $84.13
CAD/BTC – $59,007 (high mark’d 72k, then Elon Musk got silly)
CAD/ETH – $1,884.88 (3k drop, thanks Elon!)
CAD/AU – $71.48 24k gram (DOWN $3.00)
CAD/AG – $1.09/gram
Gas – $1.19/litre (up 4c – KMBFA!!!!!!!!)
Milk – $5.19/gallon
Bread – $2.99/loaf
Eggs – $3.99/XL dozen
Big Mac – $5.69
Destructive Thoughtz:
What’s better than an alarm clock? A kitten that knows when you’re supposed to be up for work.
Even after being fed at the correct time, she knows exactly when you should be up.
And the little devious mind of escalating ways to wake you up. From meowing and rubbing to the
dreaded ‘CANNONBALL’ right into your stomach. Tho usually the aim is off and hits you right in
the ‘nads (just like werewolves!)
Baseball pre-season kicks off this weekend plus films ramping up on HBO Max.
WandaVision has one episode left and is a severely underrated show. Most people tuned out
when they saw the first two episodes were in black & white. But many of us watching this
realized quite quickly what was going on. For me, it was a beautiful interpretation from the Marvel movies.
No spoilers for the show. But if you are looking for something meaty and unique, highly recommended.
Otherwise, still putting in screws and nuts into projects.
Music List This Week
Fallout 4 Main Theme……….. Inon Zur
Fallout 3 Main Theme……….. Inon Zur
Fallout: New Vegas…………. Inon Zur
Godzilla (ft. Serj Tankian)…. Bear McCreary, Serj Tankian
Hell March………………… Frank Klepacki
Sovengarde………………… Jeremy Soule
() HUMOUR! () (Not for virgin eyes…….)
I have a dyslexia fetish. It makes my spine stiff.
==========================
A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumped against the windshield…
Embarrassed, and to spare her young son’s innocence, the mother turns around and says,
“Don’t worry, dear. That was just an insect.”
“Wow,” the boy replies. “I’m surprised it could get off the ground with a penis like that!”
==========================
First we lived in kingdoms run by Kings, then Empires run by Emperors Now we live in Countries…
==========================
A biker walks into a bar and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger – 2.99
Cheeseburger – 3.99
Chicken Sandwich – 4.99
Hand Jobs – 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties.
She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?”
The bartender blushes slightly and says “Yes, I am” with a sexy little smile.
The biker grins and says “Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger.”
==========================
(G) DanteTV Productions – 2021 /\/\idnight Star
Afterglow
What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
I’ve never paid 300 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.
[E-Zine] It’s Friday! 2021-2-20
[E-Zine/Articles/NSFW] (Nova Scotia Funny Workers!)
Recorded live before a vodka slushie filled studio audience in Halifax, Nova Scotia Canada that just wants to Ra-Ra-Ras-poutine all over the place…
[*] *** [It’s Friday!] E-Zine *** [] LENT MODE ACTIVATED!
<@> What’s going down in DanteTV Land….. <@>
Feb 27th – Blue Jays Pre-Season Opener
Mar 14th – Spring Forward (Daylight Savings Begins)
Mar 17th – St. Patrick’s Day
Mar 20th – Ostara / Spring Equinox (0637h AM DanteTV Timezone)
Apr 01st – Baseball Opening Day (ALL 30 TEAMS)
Apr 02nd – Good Friday (businesses closed)
Apr 04th – Easter
Apr 05th – End of Academic Year!
Apr 16th – Examinations Over!
Apr 20th – 4/20 / ‘O Cannabis’ Day
May 04th – May The Fourth Be With You! / Cuatro De Mayo!
May 05th – Cinco De Mayo
May 24th – Victoria Day (Canada/businesses closed)
May 31st – Memorial Day (USA/businesses closed)
Jun 21st – Summer Solstice (0031h AM DanteTV Timezone)
(!) The Markets (!)
CAD/USD – $0.79
CAD/GBP – $0.56 (-0.01)
CAD/JPY – $83.36
CAD/BTC – $60,979 (up $4,133 since last week)
CAD/ETH – $2,322.31
CAD/AU – $74.36 24k gram (DOWN $1.00)
CAD/AG – $1.09/gram
Gas – $1.15/litre (up 1.9c)
Milk – $5.19/gallon
Bread – $2.99/loaf
Eggs – $3.99/XL dozen
Big Mac – $5.69
Destructive Thoughtz:
Yo! Ok ya freaks out there, I see ya getting the shack happies and kicking it clubstyle in your virtual rooms. Trying to hide the decorations behind the couch, got everything down save that new plant holder eye ring on the wall.
Shah yea, once again, ya freaks. Knocking back a 24 over 24 on all fours to the porcelain goddess while hopefully a friend is holding your hair back in tour bus [censored] positon. Crack a smile at the webcam, your ass is now
coast to coast with the most hits that hour on all social networks. Sock that bitcoin away, maybe by the time you get your dignity back your e-wallet will be phat with cash that you can buy stuff to make that night look like cheerleader tryouts to the three ring cirque du freak you plan to do now.
Or wait, naw, that’s me planning for my 50 in July. GOOOOOOLLLDDDDD… (Gino Is Olllllldddd) SMDLAHMFers, hopefully king high the 6-49 before then and zoom zoom out someplace that even I couldn’t make up the shit that will happen.
Better to be the freak than trying to freak these days with everyone rocking a camera. Maybe for shits and giggles, I’ll phone people directly just to make them ask what that noise their texting device is generating. Yea, sit and rotatory dial this….
Music List This Week
Peace Train………. Cat Stevens
Clumsy…………… Our Lady Peace
Cotton Eye Joe……. Rednex
Maria……………. Blondie
Love Me Like You Do.. Ellie Goulding
Earned It………… The Weekend
Song 2…………… Blur
What’s Up?……….. 4 Non Blondes
It Wasn’t Me……… Shaggy, Rik Rok
Tainted Love……… Marylin Manson
Baba O’Riely……… The Who
() HUMOUR! () (Not for virgin eyes…….)
The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of Sperm when Mating. Only 10% enters the female.
And you always wondered why the sea tasted Salty?!
A man walks into a bar, late one night completely knackered and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies.
“What’s wrong with you?” The barman says.
“In my car I’ve got a nymphomaniac – you couldn’t satisfy her if you were there ’til Christmas,” he replies.
“We’ll see about that,” says the barman and goes out to the car park.
He has been in the car with the woman for a while when there is a knock on the window and a policeman shines his torch in.
The barman jumps up and winds down the window to talk to the policeman.
“It’s all right officer, I’m just shagging the wife,” he says.
“Oh, I’m sorry sir, I didn’t know it was your wife” replies the cop.
The barman replies -“Neither did I ’til you shone your torch!”
Man Teases his ex-wife’s new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches, she was brand new.
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don’t know what to do.
About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.
The doctor says to the woman,
“I know what we’ll do. After I’ve operated on the priest, I’ll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle.”
“Do you think it will work?” she asks.
“It’s worth a try.” he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.
After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, “Father, you’re not going to believe this.”.
“What?” asks the priest, “what happened?”.
“You gave birth to a child!”.
“But that’s impossible!” says the priest.
“I just did the operation,” insists the doctor, “it’s a miracle! Here’s your baby.”
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says,
“Son, I have something to tell you. I’m not your father.” The son says,
“What do you mean, you’re not my father?” The priest replies,
“I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.”
*
(G) DanteTV Productions – 2021 /\/\idnight Star
Afterglow
Great door signs:
Gynecologist: Dr Jones at your cervix.
Septic tank truck: Yesterday’s meals on wheels.
Plumber’s office: Wwe repair what ur husband fixed.
Tire shop: Invite us to ur next blowout.
Electrical shop: Let us remove ur shorts.
Maternity room: Push, Push, Push.
Always dream….
How many elephants…
A long set of jokes…. WORTH IT!
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A: There’s a footprint in the mayo.
Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There’s two footprints in the mayo.
Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: The door won’t shut.
Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There’s a VW Bug in your driveway.
[It’s Friday!] E-Zine – 2021-02-11
Recorded live before a hot pork-n-beans filled studio audience in Halifax, Nova Scotia Canada that just wants to let it go…
[It’s Friday!] E-Zine
<@> What’s going down in DanteTV Land….. <@>
Feb 12th – Chinese New Year! (Year of the Metal Ox)
Feb 14th – St. Valentine’s Day
Feb 15th – Heritage Day / President’s Day
Feb 16th – Mardi Gras / Pancake Day
Feb 17th – Ash Wednesday (Lent begins)
Feb 27th – Blue Jays Pre-Season Opener
Mar 14th – Spring Forward (Daylight Savings Begins)
Mar 17th – St. Patrick’s Day
Mar 20th – Ostara / Spring Equinox
Apr 04th – Easter
(!) The Markets (!)
CAD/USD – $0.79 (up $0.01)
CAD/GBP – $0.57
CAD/JPY – $82.36
CAD/BTC – $60,979 (up $14,000 since last week)
CAD/ETH – $2,261 (up $131 since last week)
CAD/AU – $75.50 24k gram (up $0.80)
CAD/AG – $1.10/gram
Gas – $1.15/litre (up 1.9c)
Milk – $5.19/gallon
Bread – $2.99/loaf
Eggs – $3.99/XL dozen
Big Mac – $5.69
Destructive Thoughtz:
What a week. But ah, we now go thru Chinese New Year, Valentine’s Day, and Heritage/President’s Day. Party weekend in the middle of winter which would be super cool if it wasn’t for that crazy new mutant strains B117, B1351, and P1 bka UK, South African and Brasil strains. But in all seriousness, all we can really do is the same we do for sex: Cover your holes with protection, wash often, get tested and discuss testing. Done. And never fck crazy. Nope. Stay your ass home and feel the romance in your pants to something romantic. Like the original ‘Iron Man’ or ‘Deadpool’ movies.
Cinemas and other places are opening up today locally. Scary on one hand. But on the other hand, it will get the economy going and people back to work. Still sad that all four of my favorite Starbucks have shut down. But who knows, maybe they’ll come back once things start flowing again. Nobody’s opening to max capacity, most at 25% save the cinemas which will be at 50% or 100 max per auditorium. Sure it’ll be cool for people to go out. But we have seen a lot more options come online for people that just want to shut the world out and enjoy life in a little bubble.
It’s not an island. It’s a bubble. Big difference. 
Music List This Week
Album: American Made Music to Strip By
-Rob Zombie
HUMOR! (Not for virgin eyes!)
My wife beamed at me with pride and said, “Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!”
I said: “This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.”
You know, it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force.
At the Gym last week I found a tiny hole in one of my trainers. Just small enough to fit a finger in. However.. I was reported and now banned for life.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat instead.
*
(G) 2021 DanteTV Productions /\/\idnite Star
(*) Afterglow…..
Today a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance.
Long story short, my girlfriend said no.
Fallout 3 as a Lone Wander Tourist
[Gaming] So Im playing thru Fallout 3 as more of lone wandering tourist this time. Im using the Brady book to help me find all the free form quests and locations that are outside the main quest line. I’m not looking at spoilers atm, just the general locations. Zone 8 is the starting zone, containing Vault 101, Megaton, the Outcasts, Nuka Cola and Red Racer factories plus more. Next time in, Im doing each location. Then Ill spoil check before exploring a new zone. Im doing DC last tho.
Best trap Ive seen in a long time goes to the Overlook Drive-In, almost got me. Also this game is a lot easier with Dogmeat. First time I beat it, I never had a companion. #betterthannetflix
Pubic Affairs..?
Nice typo #cnn. Unless #SatanicChurch is really trying to separate religion from pubic affairs. #typos #proofread #pubicaffairs #fark #headlines
Shiny Toxicroak!!
Munzee Dragon Capture!
