2021-02-27 E-Zine – It’s Friday!

[E-Zine/Articles/NSFW] (Nova Scotia Funny Workers!)

Recorded live before a one-rum slushie filled studio audience in Halifax, Nova Scotia Canada that just wants to know where the rest of the rum has gone…

[*] *** [It’s Friday!] E-Zine *** [] LENT MODE ACTIVATED!
NO MEAT TIL…. cue Beastie Boys…. BROOKLYN!!!!!!!

<@> What’s going down in DanteTV Land….. <@>
Feb 27th – Blue Jays Pre-Season Opener
Mar 14th – Spring Forward (Daylight Savings Begins)
Mar 17th – St. Patrick’s Day
Mar 20th – Ostara / Spring Equinox (0637h AM DanteTV Timezone)
Apr 01st – Baseball Opening Day (ALL 30 TEAMS)
Apr 02nd – Good Friday (businesses closed)
Apr 04th – Easter
Apr 05th – End of Academic Year!
Apr 16th – Examinations Over!
Apr 20th – 4/20 / ‘O Cannabis’ Day
May 04th – May The Fourth Be With You! / Cuatro De Mayo!
May 05th – Cinco De Mayo
May 24th – Victoria Day (Canada/businesses closed)
May 31st – Memorial Day (USA/businesses closed)
Jun 21st – Summer Solstice (0031h AM DanteTV Timezone)
Jul 1st – Canada Day!
Jul 4th – Fourth of July!

(!) The Markets (!)
CAD/USD – $0.79
CAD/GBP – $0.57
CAD/JPY – $84.13
CAD/BTC – $59,007 (high mark’d 72k, then Elon Musk got silly)
CAD/ETH – $1,884.88 (3k drop, thanks Elon!)
CAD/AU – $71.48 24k gram (DOWN $3.00)
CAD/AG – $1.09/gram
Gas – $1.19/litre (up 4c – KMBFA!!!!!!!!)
Milk – $5.19/gallon
Bread – $2.99/loaf
Eggs – $3.99/XL dozen
Big Mac – $5.69

Destructive Thoughtz:

What’s better than an alarm clock? A kitten that knows when you’re supposed to be up for work.
Even after being fed at the correct time, she knows exactly when you should be up.
And the little devious mind of escalating ways to wake you up. From meowing and rubbing to the
dreaded ‘CANNONBALL’ right into your stomach. Tho usually the aim is off and hits you right in
the ‘nads (just like werewolves!)

Baseball pre-season kicks off this weekend plus films ramping up on HBO Max.
WandaVision has one episode left and is a severely underrated show. Most people tuned out
when they saw the first two episodes were in black & white. But many of us watching this
realized quite quickly what was going on. For me, it was a beautiful interpretation from the Marvel movies.
No spoilers for the show. But if you are looking for something meaty and unique, highly recommended.

Otherwise, still putting in screws and nuts into projects.

Music List This Week

Fallout 4 Main Theme……….. Inon Zur
Fallout 3 Main Theme……….. Inon Zur
Fallout: New Vegas…………. Inon Zur
Godzilla (ft. Serj Tankian)…. Bear McCreary, Serj Tankian
Hell March………………… Frank Klepacki
Sovengarde………………… Jeremy Soule

() HUMOUR! () (Not for virgin eyes…….)

I have a dyslexia fetish. It makes my spine stiff.

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A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumped against the windshield…

Embarrassed, and to spare her young son’s innocence, the mother turns around and says,
“Don’t worry, dear. That was just an insect.”

“Wow,” the boy replies. “I’m surprised it could get off the ground with a penis like that!”

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First we lived in kingdoms run by Kings, then Empires run by Emperors Now we live in Countries…

==========================
A biker walks into a bar and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.

He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:

Hamburger – 2.99

Cheeseburger – 3.99

Chicken Sandwich – 4.99

Hand Jobs – 19.99

The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties.

She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?”

The bartender blushes slightly and says “Yes, I am” with a sexy little smile.

The biker grins and says “Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger.”

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(G) DanteTV Productions – 2021 /\/\idnight Star

Afterglow

What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

I’ve never paid 300 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

How many elephants…

A long set of jokes…. WORTH IT!

Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back.

Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A: There’s a footprint in the mayo.

Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There’s two footprints in the mayo.

Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: The door won’t shut.

Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There’s a VW Bug in your driveway.